So apparently...

Life just has it out for some people. Meaning my family. At least it feels that way. Through the last 7 years of our marriage my husband has had more than his fair share of auto accidents. He has normally been the one responsible.

On Wednesday March 3rd, he was actually innocently stopped at a stop sign when an idiot (pardon my language, some people are just idiots) took the turn too wide and took off the front of Steve's bumper.

When the cops came however, they determined Steve was responsible for the accident. Ticket-CHECK, insurance rates going up-CHECK, having to pay to fix our own car-CHECK

Life just throws lemons at us-CHECK.

Sometimes I just don't get it. When does this end? I just feel like giving up sometimes. I don't know why it seems that we don't ever even catch a chance to make lemonade from the lemons life throws us, they just hit us too quickly to ever take a break and make some lemonade.

Though we will do everything we can to fight this, I feel like it's already a losing battle.

Ramblings on life's duration

I just wanted to share something I learned in life. We are not guaranteed one moment past the last breath we drew. I know people say it. But do you really think it? Do you realize how fleeting this life is and how little time we really have to make an impression on this world?

I think about it way too much. Maybe it's because I've faced death so many times in such a short life. I lost my mom at the age of 10 and it still hurts like hell. Every time someone complains about how awful or annoying their mom is I just want to say... "Well.. be glad you have one." Obviously that's not the best or nicest thing to say to someone that just wants to vent but sometimes that's how I feel. Sometimes a girl just needs a mom.

I had a dream once about my mom. It started out as the most beautiful dream. I dreamed that miraculously my mom had been healed of cancer and we were leaving the hospital. As she was being wheeled out of the hospital she got bumped into an empty elevator shaft and died anyway. I woke up from my dream sobbing. I was absolutely struck right then by how life has no guarantee. There is no guarantee that if my mom hadn't had cancer that she wouldn't have died another way. Obviously I have this perfect dream life in my head where cancer doesn't exist and my mom didn't die but that's not the life I get.


The other day I was at the mall and I hear one mom say to another "Yesterday was the worst day of my life" and then went on to say how everything had just been a fight or a tantrum with her child. I wanted so badly just to say... "If that was the worst day of your life than I'd gladly change lives with you." If the worst you can throw out there is your kid had a bad tantrum day.. then be grateful for that life. At the end of the day no matter how my kids act as long as they are healthy and happy.. they won't ever cause me to say "I had the worst day ever" because... honestly. I've had way too many worst days ever to count. I am really praying hard that by some miracle of God I have already experienced the worst day ever in my life.

So. Sometimes I just ramble. Sometimes I'm just not happy or upbeat. But this is how I feel tonight.

What do I want to be when I grow up?

I ask myself the question often. "What do I want to be when I grow up?"

You would really think I would know by now but I don't. NO clue! I know I can go back to college. I know I will eventually. But to what end? What will be my final goal? I really wish I knew. I recently went back to my just out of high school job and I'm going to give the knife thing another go. I loved that job and I did well at it. However... when I was around all the new updated knife selling superstars I felt little. Small. I felt like some kind of insecure failure that was out of place in a world she didn't know anymore.

A long time ago. (7 1/2 yrs ago) I used to be one of those kids right out of highschool. The knife selling superstar. Confident. Cool. Collected. Able to speak in front of a few hundred people on my experience. Now I can't even get up the nerve to speak in front of my MOPS group. What happened to her I wonder? Where did she go and will I ever find her again?

I'm not very good at this obviously.

SO, I started my blog on August 3rd.

That was 9 months ago. I didn't tell anyone about it. And I didn't update it. Not very good form for a blog, huh?

Life hasn't changed a whole lot. The kids have gotten older. H and B have almost finished their school year. Next August will be 1st grade for H and kindergarten for B! I just registered him the other day. I can't believe my only little boy is going off to kindergarten!

M is busy being two. I'm trying hard not to say ((terrible)) two's but she has been a bit of a grump lately. I don't let it ruin my day though. Just hers.


I'm working a job now. I work in Walmart giving samples out to the masses for a Sales company. It's not a bad job and I mostly manage myself so that's nice. I definitely don't see myself doing this the rest of my life though.

The Introduction

The Introduction
This is my first official blog post that doesn't involve Myspace. I thought it was time for my own space to write the things that I think and feel. I can't promise you will like or agree with my thoughts and opinions but they are still mine. I can't promise I'll always be nice or that the things that I write will be easy to read or understand. But, they will all be ME.Hopefully this doesn't make any of you feel like running in the other direction. Stay, read if you like.My name is Bethany. I am a 25 yr old wife and mother of 3. I have been married to Steve since February 1, 2003 and we welcomed Halana Grace on 4/29/03, Bodan Eric on 6/2/04 (yes, I know they aren't very far apart. I will NEVER forget that!) and Marin Cate born in spite of my best efforts on 12/25/06... (yes, that date looks familiar.. it's freakin' Christmas!)My husband and I own our home and we have been living here for 5 yrs. Life has not turned out the way I always dreamed it would. I think most of us find that the fairy tale life often turns out to be just that... only a fairy tale... However, no matter how life turns out to be and what gets thrown my way I have a husband that loves me and 3 wonderful, beautiful children that make each day a day worth living.If I tried to give my family history or my life story it would take a very long time to write out. So, I will start with current facts and go from there. I will however need to travel back in time this year to a date that I will never forget. May 12th, 2008. On this day life changed forever. I will never look at life the way I used to and I live each day in fear of the nightmare that changed everything.May 12th 2008 My dear sweet nephew nearly drowned while being babysat by my stepmom. Ethan Alberto Barona the 21 month old son of Joanna and Guillo Barona suffered severe damages from his near drowning experience. I hope and pray that God will daily work the restoration of his brain and body and I look forward to the day when things are easier.I did keep a caringbridge journal for my sister giving friends and families updates on Ethan's condition here www.caringbridge.org/visit/ethanbarona if you want to know more about it you can go there.You may be wondering why that was such a life changing experience for me. Ethan was not my son, but there is no little boy on earth that I could have every cared about more that wasn't my own. Ethan is the son of my sister who I couldn't love any more than I do. He has been a constant joy in my life since the day I found out that my sister was expecting. I hurt for her loss and I hurt for missing Ethan. I still can't see little boys his age without tearing up and thinking that he should be happy and playing just like them instead of being trapped inside his body and limited by his injured brain. I'm sure you will hear plenty more on the subject if you stick around and keep reading in the days, weeks and years to come.So, I've kept this one pretty simple. Mostly stated facts and not too many opinions. I can't promise that will always be the case.That is all for now.