What do I want to be when I grow up?

I ask myself the question often. "What do I want to be when I grow up?"

You would really think I would know by now but I don't. NO clue! I know I can go back to college. I know I will eventually. But to what end? What will be my final goal? I really wish I knew. I recently went back to my just out of high school job and I'm going to give the knife thing another go. I loved that job and I did well at it. However... when I was around all the new updated knife selling superstars I felt little. Small. I felt like some kind of insecure failure that was out of place in a world she didn't know anymore.

A long time ago. (7 1/2 yrs ago) I used to be one of those kids right out of highschool. The knife selling superstar. Confident. Cool. Collected. Able to speak in front of a few hundred people on my experience. Now I can't even get up the nerve to speak in front of my MOPS group. What happened to her I wonder? Where did she go and will I ever find her again?